I've never known anybody to achieve anything without overcoming adversity. - Lou Holtz
Adversity, Trauma, and Pain are my favorite tools in my Healing Toolbox. As a frequenter of the so called "Rock Bottom" hangout, I make the best out of everything thrown at me in life. I've learned to transmute the pain to propel me forward. And I want to touch on the subject of a "Trauma Response" and how to process these emotions when they come to you like a thief in the night.
WHAT IS A TRAUMA RESPONSE?
Well, let's start with understanding a trauma response.
Response Not Reaction by the way.
First, I'll start with breaking down the science behind the anatomy of humans. Stuff that has existed ever since the dawn of humankind. It is what helps us stay alive.
In essence, our bodies have: psychological and physical reactions to trauma. Trauma is the source of our responses in the nervous system; our autonomic nervous system.
When trauma happens , the nervous system becomes activated and we enter a “fight or flight” response.
These responses force us to either stay and fight or flee from the cause of the trauma.
In the context of this discussion, we will be discussing the psychological impact that trauma has on our ability to function and navigate through our daily lives. And include my story and how trauma has affected my relationships.
How do you develop trauma response and triggers?
When a human is faced with danger, your body gets ready to fight, flee, or freeze. Your heart beats faster. Your senses go on high alert. Your brain stops some of its normal functions to deal with the threat. This includes your short-term memory.
In my life, I was the ultimate "Human Pleaser" not people. The response became one of an extreme where I became the “fixer” of all problems, all in a vain attempt to prevent others from leaving me as everyone in my life seemed to abandon me growing up. As these behaviors continued to flourish over the years, I could not understand why so many of my relationships in life and love seemed to fail.
Even my job, which then I loved, was about helping others. I became a sales representative for the worlds largest medical device company in hopes to "heal" others.
You don’t have to be a small child to have created a trauma response. Traumatic events can occur at various stages of our lives.
Some examples: include unknowingly entering into a physical and abusive relationship, finding out your significant other has been unfaithful, you allow the gaslighting, you allow the narcissistic abuse tactics, suffering verbal abuse from others or, even witnessing a violent event.
Trauma can also come in manifestations such as headaches, stomach aches, acne breakout, muscular pain, insomnia, heart arrhythmias, autoimmune diseases, and more.
Some people have psychological manifestations such as fear, anxiety, depression, hopelessness, anger, worthlessness, and the list goes on. Some people have a combination of all of the above. It is unfortunate.
There are also many subsets to the responses:
Poor diet and health
Lack of cardiovascular conditioning in excercise
Alcohol or drug abuse
Overeating
Creating poor financial habits
Lack of worth; engaging in risky sexual behavior
It's imperative to identify if you're in these cycles and take initiative into healing. Success is on the other side of healing.
If you cannot manage stress, you will not manage success.
This is the truth. You cannot and will not be a successful anything you want to be without truly knowing how to manage stress and your mechanisms to cope. This can send you down the wrong rabbit hole.
Healing your trauma
The good news is we can all heal from our trauma.
We can recover. How?
We can recover from the suffering of trauma through NEURAL PLASTICITY.
Neural Plasticity:
Neural plasticity is the brain's ability to change and adapt in response to new experiences. It is the capacity of nerve cells to biologically adapt to circumstances by generating new connections to other nerve cells and weakening connections in response to deprivation and excess stress. This process involves adaptive structural and functional changes to the brain.
In other words, our brains can be rewired and reprogrammed. We can shift and alter our trauma responses. These responses and trauma triggers can be altered through to change our perceptions.
Here is the caveat: You will not be cured overnight by the flip of a switch. Trauma responses and reprogramming of the brain require surrender, patience, and peace.
You can start by accepting that trauma has occurred to you, but you will not be a victim of your circumstances.
Accept
Come to terms with the pain people, places, and things have caused you. Take it in, and breathe it out. Write, sing, dance, or express your pain in some expressive way. Go for a walk. For me; writing, walking, dancing, and many more forms of artistic expression are what I use to transmute.
Surrender
Without darkness, we cannot rest. Everything we learn, we then have to go into the darkness to download it. Otherwise, we couldn't process anything without darkness.
You cannot appreciate light without darkness. we cannot appreciate good without the bad. right? And seeking out people, resources, and the like that will help guide you through the journey of healing.
There are countless resources available, ranging from doing the work yourself to working with a coach or other professional. The process is not easy and can be painful at times, with some days being better than others, and most importantly, recognizing that the journey and self-evolution never ends.
We have to be willing to want to do the inner work, seek help, and walk the unwavering path of determination to be on a path of healing. Despite how many months, years, and decades you have suffered and believing otherwise, you can create different response triggers, find new and other ways to engage in your everyday relationships, and realize the new path in front of you is actually one that leads to your wish fulfillment.
I am launching my new project next week with more information on my courses, resources, and exciting helpful tools I have been working on sharing with the world. My purpose in life is to share my experiences, my pain, my adversity, and most importantly my testimony on how I have used my pain to propel me into my passion. You can too.
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Peace be with you, and remember to Go Within to Go Without 🦋
