When I Grow Up...
When I was 7 years old in the 1st grade, I can vividly remember being asked by our teacher "What do you all want to be when you grow up?" My classmates would shout their ideal future "grown up" version: An astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, a chef, Movie star, the President of the United States (HA!). I wanted to become a doctor; they made a ton of money and I loved caring for others. #Goals Inside the mind of my 7 year old self I was determined I was going to be a wealthy doctor who had 6 kids and was married to another doctor. Go figure? I would play M-A-S-H with my best friend Amberly and we would take it so seriously. I used to cheat when drawing the circles to count because I would ONLY play the game if I knew I was going to have results showing me: becoming a doctor, having 6 kids, living in an amazing house, marrying a wealthy husband, and driving a sports car. Anything less or different than this future life was unacceptable. REALITY CHECK....
Fast forward to age 27. I'd be thrilled to tell my 7 year old version that: I don't have kids yet, nor a wealthy husband, I'm not a real doctor, and that her dreams weren't crushed yet!
I somehow ended up in the medical field helping patients as planned just on the industry side, I'm a fairy God Mother, trying to build an empire on the side, and I have some fast cars. Oh, and a wealthy husband is not on the list anymore; I'd rather marry someone who I can build with regardless of what they $$$ make. Also, 6 kids and medical school sound UNREALISTIC AND EXPENSIVE.
However, I recently realized that the the question still remains unanswered for me.
WHY? Well, because there is more to living and creating your life than a job, a car, a house, and a husband.
What do I want to be when I "grow up"?
Life is about becoming a person who leaves their mark on the world. Character, values, and purpose sound much better.
Then it hit me. I realized my idol and role model was my mother. There are many other things I want to be too, but being like my mother is probably at the top of my list. My mom has sacrificed a lifetime's worth of me being in debt to her, for my brother and I. She has faced adversity in every shape, size, and form if that's even a thing. Yet still has a positive attitude and a smile on her face. Looking back I realize how much she gave us when at times we didn't have money. The birthday piñatas, the gifts on every special occasion, the $20 bills when we lost our baby teeth, new clothes for the new school year, and spending her last bill for what we needed.
She was the best Santa Claus, Valentine, Easter Bunny, and Tooth Fairy. Shit, I believed it! There were special occasions where she couldn't get us anything and I remember that was when I was 15 and took on my first job at a daycare to help us. Since that day, there was no turning back. She taught me to reach for the stars and empowered me to always strive for anything and everything I dream of doing.
Something no fictional character could inspire you to do.
Time flew by these last 12 years since that day I started working to help her. I cried, panted, felt life was unfair. But with her rooting me on, I was always brave and empowered in everything I did, everywhere I went, every city I moved to, every career move I have made, and everything I didn't do.
She is brave, bold, courageous, outspoken, unapologetic, and she does this with gracefulness.
My mom happens to be that Super Woman Idol that I want to emulate. I just hope that I am able to spread the same amount of joy, beauty, and compassion that she has, still and always will.
As the great Tupac sings in Dear Mama:
"To keep me happy there's no limit to the things you did
And all my childhood memories
Are full of all the sweet things you did for me
And even though I act crazy
I gotta thank the Lord that you made me
There are no words that can express how I feel
Everything will be alright if you hold on
It's a struggle every day, gotta roll on
And there's no way I can pay you back, but my plan
Is to show you that I understand: you are appreciated"
