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Navigating the Dark Night of the Soul: A Spiritual Awakening Journey


(read this in Eckhart Tolle's accent)

I will NEVER forget a night in Miami in January of this year where I discovered a video by Eckart Tolle on the "Dark Night of the Soul" explained. I highly recommend you watch this 15 minute video before you read what I have to educate on.

After I watched this video I felt even more uneasy, detached from my higher-self, and I thought to myself; "Who the f*ck am I anymore?".

A rush of blood to the head, I felt pain all over my body, and I couldn't help but to sob and release the much needed cry that I had been holding back. My friend I was visiting was supportive and a bit taken back by my behavior that weekend.

I was never a woman to be in a pessimistic, low vibrational energy, and let alone depressed.

ME? No, never! wait, maybe. wtf

This note on 12.28.22 (28 days into my Ego Death) little did I know, it would last another 6 months. I had no clue what journey to awakening to my true self and divine purpose. And I should add in here to journal. Writing soothes the soul, and truly its beautiful to see how far you have come when you find these notes.

I was truly frightened.

Frightened by the loss of the world I thought I belonged in, the persona I created as a highly successful talented medical device rep. Once I left corporate to pursue my dreams as an entrepreneur on 12.1.22 - you can read about that first month here.

I was truly lost into losing my Ego and Persona that no longer resonated with me. As a woman who's always been brave and courageous, a pioneer, a leader, and one to leap into the unknown, this was fu*king scary.

The scariest part was not the unknown external circumstances, it was the unknown true self.

Well, when you are the Hero and the Villain in your own life as we should all be, it happens that we have to let this built of trauma and intense wave of emotions out.

And let me be the first to tell you, in the labyrinth of our existence, we often find ourselves lost in the depths of our inner selves, searching for meaning, purpose, and a profound connection to the universe.

The Rose that Grew from the Concrete by Tupac Shakur

This poem describes what my journey was like.

Your soul goes cold for a moment.

It is your responsibility to overcome this Ego Death and regain the blood flow.

This means, you have to heal through your traumas, and face your demons.

This transformative voyage is often referred to as the "Dark Night of the Soul."

So, I will break it down the concept of the Dark Night of the Soul and the spiritual awakening journey it entails, and how one can undergo an ego death, unlocking the door to a higher state of consciousness.

Understanding the Dark Night of the Soul

The Dark Night of the Soul is a term popularized by the 16th-century Spanish mystic and poet, St. John of the Cross.

It represents a profound and often painful spiritual crisis that individuals experience on their path to self-discovery and enlightenment. This journey is characterized by a profound sense of emptiness, despair, and a feeling of being disconnected from the world.

It is horrible, my friend. But with the revelation you will get when you discover the concept of an Ego Death, you won't have to stay in the mental prison it brings for long. This is why I am writing this blog post. I had a Dark Night of the QUARTER and I will help you from my mistakes.

The Spiritual Awakening Journey phases

1. Initiation:

The awakening journey often begins with an event or realization that shakes the foundations of your current belief system. It could be a personal crisis, loss, or simply a moment of deep introspection.

"The wound is the place where the Light enters you." - Rumi

2. The Dark Night:

This phase is marked by a deep sense of inner turmoil and suffering. It's a period of intense introspection, where you confront your deepest fears, insecurities, and attachments. Everything is laid out on a nice white platter for you to examine and bring awareness to what needs to change, leave your life, and surrender to God to guide you in this healing journey.

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." - Albert Camus
3. Ego Death:

The ego, which has been a source of identity and attachment, starts to crumble. This is a pivotal moment on the journey, as it allows for profound personal transformation.

The ego is not your true self; it's a social mask you've learned to wear.

The true self is the observer, the witness, the center of your consciousness.

The ego is the enemy.

The enemy that is ready to rob, kill, and destroy you.

Freud's Theory of the Psyche can be useful if you'd like to learn more about the personality aspect that cause us to go insane in the membrane if not properly addressed.

4. Rebirth:

As the ego dissolves, you begin to experience a sense of rebirth. This is when you realize your interconnectedness with all living beings and the universe. You experience a profound sense of unity and love.

In this phase you are most likely not resonating with the matrix.

matrix = womb

The Hebrew translation for the word Matrix = WOMB

Leaving the Womb of the toxic societal systems the world order created to corrupt society and keep humans enslaved to this.

When I hear people question their choices in life and complain about their 9-5 job with no promotion, low pay, working over-time to get extra cash because they can't afford their living, and use vices to numb their miserable lives away as they suffer from pre-diabetes, and heart issues - I want to chime in and ask: Do you really think God created humans to be slaves to false gods, corrupted government and religious doctrines?

No, He did not.

Wake up.

"When you lose all sense of self, the bonds of a thousand chains will vanish." - Rumi

How to Experience Ego Death

Ego death is the crux of the spiritual awakening journey, and it can be achieved through various practices:

1. Meditation: Regular meditation helps you detach from your ego, allowing you to observe your thoughts and emotions without attachment.

2. Mindfulness: Being present in the moment helps you transcend the ego's constant chatter and connect with your true self.

3. Psychedelic Experiences: Some individuals experience ego death through carefully guided psychedelic experiences, such as psilocybin or Ayahuasca.

4. Self-Inquiry: Reflecting on profound questions like "Who am I?" can lead to a deeper understanding of the self beyond the ego.

5. Yoga: The physical and spiritual aspects of yoga can aid in ego dissolution by connecting mind, body, and spirit.

The Dark Night of the Soul is not a journey for the faint of heart, but it can lead to profound spiritual growth and enlightenment.

Embracing the darkness within ourselves, confronting our ego, and ultimately experiencing ego death are transformative steps that can lead to a deeper connection with the universe and a profound sense of inner peace.

The Dark Night and the Shadow

Carl Jung introduced the concept of the "shadow," representing the hidden, repressed, or denied aspects of our personality. The Dark Night often involves confronting this shadow, which can be a deeply unsettling experience. Read my blog post about the Shadow and Confronting It

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.

Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens.

"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens." - Carl Jung

Integration is key

After experiencing ego death and acknowledging the Self, there is a process of integration. This involves bringing the lessons learned from the Dark Night into your conscious life, resulting in a more harmonious and authentic self.

I believe an ego death is a crucial step in the individuation process. It involves surrendering the ego's control and recognizing the greater Self, which encompasses the conscious and unconscious aspects of our being.

These practices helped me and I recommend you engage in at least one of these activities:

1. Write down your thoughts, feelings, and dreams regularly. This practice can help you uncover hidden aspects of your psyche.

2. Engage in creative activities such as art, music, or writing. These outlets can facilitate the expression of unconscious elements.

don't soak in the negative aspect of the journey, express your creativity

Remind yourself that You are not what happened to you, You are what you choose to become.

As you embark on this spiritual awakening journey, remember the words of Rumi:

"Don't grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form."

May your journey through the Dark Night of the Soul lead you to the dawn of a brighter, more enlightened self.

Be patient, I wrote this quote on 9.11.19 - still holds true:

"Have patience for the process, love the process. There is life to be lived in between the dashes"

Go within to Go without

Everything you are seeking and need for your growth is already within you, you just have to ask, seek, and knock on the door of the Divine.

Don't let your ego mislead, humble yourself and ask for help.

Make your self-care, development, and spiritual growth your #1 priority.


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